Thomas

"Shut up. That's Almost Famous."

Thomas + Camille

Camille, applying rubbing alcohol to open wound: "OWWWW!!"

Thomas: "Come on, think of all the suffragettes before you."

Camille: "They didn't have cuts!"

Anthony

Ruby, on TV: "I can't fit in it! I'm too tall or somethin'!"

Anthony: "...Yeah, it's definitely her height that's a problem."

Camille

"I used to think she was so pretty because her skin was the color of a Band-Aid. But then I realized her eyes were too close together and her jaw was fat."

Taylor

"Whenever I see a dirty person, I think 'Their cum must taste like hamburger.'"

Camille

"Once I get my refund, I'll get my ass off. Wait. No."

Taylor

"Well, I don't know if you're dead, sleeping, or masturbating..."